Poses for my Yoga Studio

When I open my own Yoga studio, years in the future, I will include these poses to make beginners and people like me feel better about themselves:

Real yoga poses and links to information about this life changing activity can be found at yogajournal.com

• Full Moon - This pose involves wearing skin tight pants that are too small while executing a forward bend, nuff said
• Flat Tire - There is a beautiful pose called wheel in yoga. It involves doing a full back bend, it looks gorgeous and feels great on the back. Flat tire is the pose that happens when either the arms, legs or butt won't lift all the way or at all.
• Blow Out - This is a pose that is nastily created by slipping and falling in one's own sweat while attempting wheel.
• Peeing Dog - This pose is halfway between downward dog and three-legged dog. The leg lifts, but it does not bend back beautifully in the air behind you.
• The Elaine Dancer -  This pose is a variation of dancer. The legs are the same but the outstretched arm flails in an odd way behind the practitioner
• Forest Pose - This is just sickenly cute, it is the pose that involves both my preschooler and I having our legs in Tree Pose while holding hands.
• Zombie Pose (reanimated corpse) - This pose is executed by either sneezing or getting a really bad itch during corpse pose.

More to come.....but lunch break is over. :)