The one thing diet

After reading almost every diet book in existence, I have decided, aribitrarily, with no scientific proof, that there is a class of diets called the "one thing diet". These diets involve either eating one thing or giving up one thing in an attempt to create perfect health and wellness. For example, Atkins is a one thing diet because it requires you to give up sweet, yummy carbohydrates. Apparently, following this diet makes you full, happy, healthy and thin. The problem with Atkins is two-fold. First, most of the people I know who have used Atkins do not get enough fiber and and have to take laxatives. Ewwww..... Second, sugar tastes good, and as soon as that large chocolate cake with super chocolately fudgy frosting comes by on the dessert tray, Atkins ceases to exist.

 The low-fat diet is another example of the one thing diet. Really, it makes sense when you think about it, removing fat from your diet should remove fat from your body. And fat is 9 stinking calories per gram (compared to 4 calories per gram for protein and carbohydrates), so it seems like another brilliant way to get thin, and become extremely attractive to anyone you meet. But, as with carbs, FAT tastes good and low-fat foods generally taste horrible. So, when you are at the restaurant choosing between the lean turkey burger and the fatty, fat burger with a side of mayo, it gets increasingly difficult to choose the low-fat option.

The other class of one thing diet, is the "only eat this" and life will be perfect, diet. I think there is a cabbage diet, several bar and shake diets and I think I once heard of an ice cream diet. I have tried two of these fun eating regimes. They both involved drinking a large amount of juice for a couple of days and eating nothing else. They were supposed to "detoxify" my body, make me lose weight, etc..... The problem was that the only toxin that left my body using the juice diets was WATER, and I am pretty fricking sure that water is not a toxic substance. I also noticed that eating a very small amount of food every day made me kind of crabby.  It is not really a surprise that not eating enough turns a nice ordinary overweight citizen into a mean person. But I guess the point is that you can be a hot, thin, mean person. I'd rather be nice and overweight, thank-you very much.

So after realizing that the other one thing diets sucked, I decided to go on a mission to create my own, "one thing diet". Okay, it was more like I was desperately giving up random things in an effort to lose a couple of pounds, and my colleague started asking me, "what are you giving up today?" in an overly sarcastic voice. After a couple of weeks of general office harrassment, I decided to just go with it.   The idea was that I would give up one bad thing everyday, it would change up and this would gradually make me a happier, heathier person. The diet started out great. I would give up alcohol one day, sugar another, fried foods on Thursday, coffee the next (just kidding, I live in Seattle, we don't give up coffee).  I think it was working to a degree, I was more conscious of what I ate and I was giving of something unhealthy every day.

The problem came when I realized that my diet had way too much flexibility. I had the power to give up anything I wanted, right? And that is when the diet devolved. I am still following the one thing diet....and this is what I gave up last week:

• Monday - Pilsners
• Tuesday - Sugar Packets (not the sugar from a cannister or the cubes, just the packets)
• Wednesday - Boones
• Thursday - Vegetables (okay, that one was really bad)
• Friday - Burger King (this one might have actually been tough if I had eaten at a Burger King in the last 10 years)

Current List of AWESOME food policy books I am reading...reviews to follow

1) Safe food: The Politics of Food Safety by Marion Nestle - It is disturbing enough that it is almost a diet book. Best line so far, "Irradiated poop is still poop"

2) The End of Overeating by David Kessler - Once again disturbing, but because of its descriptions of how the food industry entices us to eat fatty, salty, sugary food, you will gain 10 pounds while reading

this book.

3) The World is Fat by Barry Popkin - obesity rates in America have gone from 8% to almost 30% in the last 30 years, this book will apparently tell me why. I vote for poverty and high food prices(but I am a liberal, so of course that is what I believe).

4) Food and Philosophy - Haven't gotten into it, we shall see if it is as bad as the other "Philosophy and __________" books

5) The Way we Eat by Peter Singer and Jim Mason - Peter Singer does not eat meat and is a utilitarian (In short: the greatest good for the greatest number), I eat meat and am not a utilitarian, but he writes interesting books.